"Kiss Me Thru the Phone" by Soulja Boy Tell Em...Does he know that this is impossible?

Our next contemporary hip hop "classic" to analyze is 2008's massively overplayed club hit, Soulja Boy's "Kiss Me Thru the Phone"...

Song #2. "Kiss Me Thru the Phone" by Soulja Boy
Soulja Boy - Kiss Me Thru the Phone (YouTube)

This song starts with the auto-tuned chorus, sung by some guy named Sammie...

[Chorus by Sammie]
Baby you know that I miss you
I wanna get with you
Tonight but I can not baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you
I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now

Sammie's furstration arises from being away from his "baby", and in this case one can only assume that 'baby' means his 'boo' or 'honey'. He just wants to be with her...but he's far away...so what's a guy to do? Phone sex? Almost...

So baby kiss me through the phone
Kiss me through the phone(I'll see ya later on later on)
Kiss me through the phone kiss me through the phone(see ya when I get home)

Ah, perfect solution...kiss me thru the god damned phone...because who hasn't kissed someone through the phone? Since the feat is physically impossible, let's assume Sammie means it metaphorically, and just move on.

[Verse 1: Soulja Boy]
Baby I know that u like me
Your my future wifey

Soulja boy starts the verse by reminding whatever girl he is singing to that she likes him, and she's going to marry him at some point. This might come as news to her, considering he has to remind her of this "truth"

Soulja boy tell em yeah
You can be my bonny
I can be your clyde
You can be my wife
Text me call me I need you in my life

OH. NO. HE. DIDN'T! Bonnie and Clyde reference...just straight steppin' it up, man! Also, note that he is allowing her to marry him, if she would like, but really he would just like to be contacted by this girl. [Side thought: is he stalking someone?]

Ya all day everyday I need ya
And every time I see ya my feelings get deeper
I miss ya I miss ya I really wanna kiss ya but I can't

He misses this girl...so much so, that the feeling gets deeper every single day they're apart. So original. So Poetic. He even points out that he misses her...twice. That's more than most people!

[Sammie:]
678 triple 9 8212

One can only assume this is Soulja Boy's cell phone number (or perhaps, was). Call him immediately and ask for Rico. Just do it.

[Chorus:]

[Verse 2: Soulja Boy] (WAIT, there's a second verse?)
Baby I've been thinking lately
So much about you
Everything about you
I like it I love it
Kissing you in public

He nonchalantly admits that he thinks "so much" about this girl and "everything about" her, leaving one in amazement of his verbal skills. Also, note that he likes it AND loves it. Whatever IT is, it must be special.
Oh, IT must be 'kissing you in public'. Makes sense now...especially since kissing you in public is the penultimate form of consummating a relationship. Once you've kissed in public, there's no turning back...

Thinking nothing of it
Roses by the dozens
Talking on the phone
Baby your so sexy
Your voice is so lovely
I love your complexion
I miss ya [x3]
I really wanna kiss ya but I can't

He begins with lines of passion, explaining that kisses and roses are nothing to him, since he loves this girl so much. He continues (without really rhyming) by explaining all the girl's traits. This is useful since they are vague compliments (voice is sexy, good complexion) and can be applied to any girl, so that some random girls might think this song is about them. Then, he reiterates the impossibility of kissing this girl (if he really wants to be with her, why is he so far away? tour? promotion? just catch a plane home, or have her fly to you? why can't you kiss her Soulja? WHY?)

[Sammie]
678 triple 9 8212

[Chorus:]

[Soulja Boy:]
She call my phone like (da)[x20]
We on the phone like (da)[x20]
We taking pics like (da)[x20]
She dial my numba like (da)[x20]

The most important part of the song, the never-ending bridge, shows his dedication to the girl through exhaustive repetition. Soulja Boy Tell EM!

[Sammie]
6 7 8 triple 9 8 2 1 2

[Chorus:]

The song concludes with the stunningly laid down, overly repeated chorus. All in all, this song is a winner.


Analysis: Soulja Boy doesn't do lyrics very well, however he does do popularity well.  This song is popular, probably because of three things. The first reason is that the chorus uses auto tune, the second reason is the catchiness (despite it's stupidity, the chorus is remarkably catchy), and the third reason is that girls love songs where guys say they NEED them.
 
Soulja Boy's Moral: If you can't be with the girl you love right now, just do you best to make her feel special.


Real Moral of the Song: If you can make a catchy tune, the lyrics don't mean shit.